


it's just you and me (with the world beneath our feet)

by hwaslintroller



Series: SEONGJOONG ... ?! [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwaslintroller/pseuds/hwaslintroller
Summary: HongjoongieHey, hyung! What are you doing now?Seonghwathinking about youbut you didn’t hear that from meHongjoongieAwwCan’t believe it took us one year and seven months into our relationship to get Park Seonghwa to confess that he misses meAnd he immediately denies saying it as well, what a tragedyMaybe I should elope with Mingi, then you’d regret all the times you put your ice-cold feet on my bare legs when we sleepSeonghwa alone in the dorm on New Year's Eve, missing a certain someone.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: SEONGJOONG ... ?! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632400
Comments: 7
Kudos: 202





	it's just you and me (with the world beneath our feet)

**Author's Note:**

> in honour of a new year and ateez's upcoming comeback on the sixth; i'm posting my first work in this fandom!! i hope it's not terribly bad? i really love seongjoong, their dynamic is amazing and they just make me uwu in a way no pairing has been able to before :((( 
> 
> the title of this fic comes from honne and tom misch's 'me and you'! i hope ateez can have another successful and prosperous year in 2020, and know that atiny will always be with them no matter in sickness or health, during showcases or during breaks. i love you ateez <3

Seonghwa was cold. 

Of course, that was his own fault, standing out on the balcony of the dorm in nothing but a thin sweater in the dead of winter. He had a mug of hot chocolate, discarded somewhere in the living room- he could maybe use it right now, but he just hasn’t the heart to leave his spot just yet. 

Below him, the Christmas lights sparkle, and the city is far from quiet- it’s bustling with laughter and the clink of drinks, people spending the time with their family and friends. Seonghwa can basically feel the city trembling, nearly upsetting the cold, still air; trembling in anticipation for the new year to come. 

The wind blows hard, like cutting knives onto Seonghwa’s cheeks. He shivers, but makes no attempt to move. It’s a funny feeling, being detached from the world like this, basking in the melancholy that no one but himself can feel. The dorm is silent and it only adds to his disengaged loneliness: all the other members had gone home to their families except him: he’d caught a bad cold last minute and had been ordered extended bed rest by Hongjoong and their managers. 

Suddenly, Seonghwa hears a high-pitched laugh and footsteps , and he turns his head to see a girl, no older than seventeen, giggling as she runs through the streets below. Another girl follows, hot on her heels, yelling about catching the other. The first girl crouches down and picks up a fistful of snow, hurling it at her companion. It quickly dissolves into an impromptu snowball fight, both throwing snow as hard as they can. Finally, the second girl catches the first by the wrist, pulling her close, pressing their mouths together.  


_Oh, so that’s what it is,_ Seonghwa thinks, as he follows the fading footsteps of the couple.  


And it’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? Being able to kiss the person you love mid-laugh and knowing exactly what happiness tastes like. Their laughter pierces through the heavy sky and through Seonghwa’s heavy heart.  


And it hits him then and there, that he’s really fucking exhausted. Not physically- he’d slept sixteen hours the previous day and gotten a good massage from their manager their last showcase. He’s fucking exhausted from how _empty_ he’s been, how stretched thin he is. He’s exhausted from being on his toes all the time, everyone making sure he’s bundled up, that he doesn’t catch a cold and ruin their schedules. He’s exhausted from always trying to prove himself and falling short, exhausted by how some people reduce him to a pretty face and exhausted from how he believes them sometimes. _Just a pretty boy,_ they say. _Have you even seen their interviews? He barely even speaks, he’s just there for decoration._ _Honestly, isn’t having the official visual enough? Why would you have so many vocalists, he’s just extra at this point-_

He’s exhausted, exhausted from blinking away the camera flashes and teetering on the edge of eternal damnation. He’s exhausted from living under a microscope. He’s exhausted from the big, gaping hole in his stomach that’s always greedy for _more, more_ , more success for Ateez, more deals, more concerts and showcase invitations. 

Most of all, he’s exhausted from the agony in his throat. Sometimes it’s an itch, maybe a rash, an allergic reaction. Other times, it’s a searing pain, a cry of despair- he’s exhausted from wanting to shout out how much he loves Hongjoong, but can’t. 

_Hongjoong._ Seonghwa’s thoughts about his boyfriend are accompanied with a sudden heat to his chest and an ache in his heart: Hongjoong’s a fucking hurricane, always on the move, shining so bright. He’s devastatingly talented and also devastatingly handsome; has the best ideas and can make Seonghwa laugh any day, any time. He’s almost slipped up plenty of times- almost blurted out his confession, his goddamn _vice_ , in front of everyone. More often than not he finds himself with his mouth open, an _I love you_ searingly hot, lodged at the back of his teeth, and it’s all he can do to bite down on it, swallow the suddenly bitter taste. 

Hongjoong is too good for him, Seonghwa thinks. It’s not the first time he’s thought that way, nor will it be the last- he’s even voiced it to Hongjoong before, good, kind Hongjoong who leads all of them with such flair and grace. Hongjoong who paints his pinky to raise awareness for children suffering from violence, Hongjoong whose kisses tip him off the edge of the world but whose laughter saves him from falling. Of course, he’d received insistent kisses and a mind-blowing orgasm in an effort to change his mind; but Seonghwa can’t help but feel regretful when Hongjoong deserves someone who could shout his name from the rooftops and love him with their all. 

So this is how he’s come to where he is now: he can taste the ice of the wind at the back of his throat and his nose throbs from the intensity of it, with the exhaustion that’s piled up over the years he’s spent trying to become, and being a member of Ateez crashing down upon him. His eyes sting, and he’s not sure if the tears in his eyes are from the biting cold or something else. 

He’s about to call it a night- he can’t stand the cheerful noise from the New Year party across the street anymore- when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He picks up and the screen lights up with a text from Hongjoong- his phone tells him that it’s 11:52 p.m. on the last day of 2019. He opens the message. 

**Hongjoongie**  
Hey, hyung! What are you doing now? 

With a resigned chuckle, Seonghwa starts typing back. His Hongjoongie, his precious boyfriend and quite possibly also the love of his life. He always knew when to comfort Seonghwa, even when Seonghwa himself doesn't know he needs it. 

**Seonghwa**  
not much, on the balcony

He adds another message as an afterthought.

 **Seonghwa**  
thinking about you  
but you didn’t hear that from me 

**Hongjoongie**  
Aww  
Can’t believe it took us one year and seven months into our relationship to get Park Seonghwa to confess that he misses me  
And he immediately denies saying it as well, what a tragedy  
Maybe I should elope with Mingi, then you’d regret all the times you put your ice-cold feet on my bare legs when we sleep

Seonghwa laughs a little, realizing just how much he’s _missed_ Hongjoong over the past few days. His cheek and wit, their stupid banter. Heck, he’d even take arguing with Hongjoong right now, just so they’re together, at least. He misses the way Hongjoong’s eyes screw up with indignance and his pout when he’s a little emotional, no matter how much he vehemently denies it. 

Suddenly, Seonghwa realizes, startled, that he’s crying. He sinks to the floor of the balcony, wiping the tears off his face with one hand. Fuck, this is why he’s in a group- they’re so loud he can never hear his own thoughts, can never spiral off into them. 

Seonghwa’s so busy valiantly trying to tell his tears to fuck off that he forgets to be surprised when his phone rings, Shawn Mendes’ _If I Can’t Have You_ blasting through the mic- Hongjoong’s ringtone. It had been a song Seonghwa had caught him bopping his head to, the only song that Hongjoong deigned to let go of his edgy _I only listen to real music_ agenda for a moment to admit he liked. 

‘Hey,’ he says when he picks up, relieving in the way that his voice doesn’t come out too rough. ‘Shouldn’t you be with your family right now?’ Over the line, Seonghwa can hear some ambient street noise, the ticking of traffic lights and shouting of vendors. 

Hongjoong sounds slightly out of breath when he answers. "Hey," he replies, sweet and soft in the way that makes Seonghwa feel warm all over. ‘I missed you, hyung.’ 

‘Disgusting,’ Seonghwa replies. Hongjoong laughs over the line, bright and happy. Seonghwa's heart rate picks up at the sound, and he can’t help it when the corners of his mouth curl into a little smile. ‘God, I miss you, Hongjoong-ah. Can’t you come back earlier?’

Hongjoong laughs again, the sound bright and carefree and so _happy_ in a way that Hongjoong just deserves. The sound makes the warmth in Seonghwa’s chest pulse, spread to the rest of his body. ‘It’s just a while, hyung,’ he replies. ‘It’ll be over in no time, you’ll see. How was your day?’

‘Nothing special,’ Seonghwa allows his eyes to fall shut and focus on Hongjoong talking. It’s amazing, what love has done to him- to the _both_ of them. ‘Took the last of my meds today- they made me sleepy, so I slept until the afternoon. Then I played some games, talked to my mum on the phone- she’s been nagging me to introduce you two, you know- ate dinner. Just slept a lot, though.’ _Missed you._ he doesn’t say. _Missed you like Demeter misses Persephone. Missed you like Apollo yearns for Hyacinthus._ He doesn’t voice it out to Hongjoong though- he’d been worried enough when Seonghwa had fallen sick, and so unsettled when they’d realized they’d have to leave Seonghwa on his own for New Year’s. 

‘Good.’ Hongjoong huffs over the line, panting a little bit now. A car honks and Hongjoong swears, making Seonghwa smile. ‘God knows you need the rest.’ He says once he’s returned his attention to the call. 

Seonghwa hums non-committedly. He’d almost forgotten how much he liked Hongjoong’s voice. ‘What did you do today?’ 

‘Oh, ate, fended off homophobic uncles, beat my little cousins’ asses at Mario Kart, the usual.’ Hongjoong answers vaguely. Suddenly, the background noise fades away and the only sound left is Hongjoong’s heavy breathing over the line. ‘What happened? Are you okay?’ Seonghwa can’t help but be a little concerned. 

‘It’s okay, hyung, I just went inside.’ Hongjoong pants even harder, his footsteps echoing, as if he were climbing up stairs. ‘’Twas cold outside.’ 

‘What are you in such a hurry for, hm?’ Seonghwa teases him gently, even when he feels the bitterness building inside of him, the knowledge that Hongjoong is going to be taken away from him, swept up in festivies in a while; too much for him to bear. _Please_ , he begs silently. _Let me have him for a little while longer._ ‘Rushing to meet someone?’ 

‘Something like that, I guess,’ Hongjoong huffs out his laugh, fondness curling into his words. ‘I haven’t seen them in awhile, and it’s been kind of killing me.’ 

‘Oh-’ Seonghwa starts to reply, but suddenly it’s much too hard for him to swallow and he feels the all-too-familiar pressure behind his eyelids. ‘I guess you have to go, huh?’ 

‘No, hyung, don’t cry,’ Hongjoong says, alarmed. ‘I’ll stay on the line with you until it’s the new year, okay?’ he says, softly.

The noise from the new year’s party across him builds up to a climax, people jostling each other for the new year countdown. _Ten,_ they shout. ‘Thanks, Joong-ah,’ Seonghwa says, just as soft. 

Hongjoong’s breathing evens out a little, as if he’s reached his floor. ‘Don’t thank me, hyung,’ he murmurs into the mic. _Nine._ It’s tinny and metallic through the shitty phone speaker, but still Seonghwa clings onto the sound like a lifeline. _Eight._ ‘You’ll always have me, no matter what.’

‘I love you.’ Seonghwa blurts out, because, _god_ , he’s such a wreck. He wants Hongjoong _here, now_ , in any way he’ll have Seonghwa. 

‘I love you too, hyung, you know that, please.’ _Seven._ Hongjoong’s breath comes out all in a rush, and he sounds- _closer_ , somehow, in a way Seonghwa can’t place. 

‘I do,’ Seonghwa acknowledges, his heart aching. How wonderful it is to be loved by Kim Hongjoong. ‘Count with me? I want you to be the first person I speak to in the new year.’ 

‘Okay,’ Hongjoong says in a way that almost makes Seonghwa want to take the phone away from his ear- it’s too fucking tender, and it hurts Seonghwa all the way down to the tips of his toes, even though he can’t feel his feet anymore. He’s too preoccupied to notice the jangle of keys and the fumbling of a door handle. ‘Six,’ he tells Hongjoong. 

‘Five, four,’ Hongjoong counts with him, and there’s a thud on the glass of the closed balcony screen, and Seonghwa jumps up- only to see Hongjoong’s grinning face, the hand not holding his phone pulling the door open. ‘Three,’ Hongjoong counts, smile so, so beautiful Seonghwa forgets his own name for a second. But never Hongjoong’s, no, it’s a bit hard to forget the name of the boy holding the constellations in his eyes. 

‘Two, one.’ Hongjoong closes the distance between them to grip at Seonghwa’s bicep, phone pressed to his ear until he drops it, carelessly. ‘Happy new year, hyung,’ he says, as the party bursts into cheers. 

‘Baby, what-’ Seonghwa can barely think, it’s so cold and Hongjoong’s so _warm_ , raditating undiluted happiness from his being. His cheeks are apple-red from the cold, and his eyes are shining. Seonghwa loses his breath, for a moment. Any other word he was about to say swallowed up by Hongjoong pressing his mouth to his, cupping his face in his slightly sweaty palms. Seonghwa gasps and Hongjoong licks his way into his mouth, teeth grazing against Seonghwa’s bottom lip. 

‘Baby, what are you doing here-’ Seonghwa finally manages to get out between fervent kisses, starting to cry. Hongjooong wipes his tears away with gentle thumbs, looking so adoringly up at him Seonghwa thinks he’s going to melt. 

‘My parents saw how miserable I was without you and made me come home,’ Hongjoong tells him, his voice a near whisper. Intimate, just for the two of them. ‘Which is good, because I would’ve come back for you either way.’

‘ _God_ ,’ Seonghwa laughs, the sound way too sticky and wet, but a laugh nonetheless. ‘God, I love you, yeah?’ 

‘I love you too.’ Hongjoong says, looping his hands behind Seonghwa’s neck to bring him down, brushing their noses together. ‘I missed you so much, you can’t even imagine. I couldn’t imagine spending new year’s with anyone rather than you anyways.’ he says, intertwining their fingers and kissing Seonghwa's knuckles one by one.

‘Me too,’ Seonghwa sniffles, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. _God_ , Hongjoong, Hongjoong is _here_ , warm and solid and kissing Seonghwa back, this is a dream come true. 

They kiss for a long time, pausing only to breathe, when Hongjoong pulls away all of a sudden, frowning. ‘Hyung, what are you _wearing_? It’s the dead of winter, and you’re the one always nagging at me to take care of myself, goddamn it, you’re going to catch a cold again-’

Seonghwa cuts him off, feeling his own laugh than hearing it; kissing the side of his head. ‘My bad,’ he whispers, letting his breath ghost over the shell of Hongjoong’s ear, relishing in the way Hongjoong tries to suppress a shiver, fails, and glares at Seonghwa. ‘Take me inside, baby.’ He says with an exaggerated, greasy wink that he knows Hongjoong secretly loves. 

Hongjoong gives in and starts to laugh along with Seonghwa, who kisses him as he’s being tugged into the warmth of the living room, when Hongjoong struggles to tug a jacket over his shoulders, kisses him even when they’re both grinning so much they can barely kiss properly.

And Seonghwa wouldn’t want it any other way- not if it isn’t the two of them swaying under the shitty lights of their dorm, his feet so frozen he feels like they’ll fall off any second. Because Hongjoong is warm, and secure, and _home_ , and Seonghwa is in love, in love and in love. 

‘Happy new year, Hongjoongie.’ Seonghwa murmurs the words into the top of Hongjoong’s head.

Hongjoong nuzzles into the side of Seonghwa’s neck, his breath tickling enough that Seonghwa chokes on a breathless laugh, squirming. ‘Happy new year to you too, hyung.’ he says, then: ‘I know you really love me, but please wear something warm when you go outside next time, for fuck’s sake.’

Seonghwa muffles his laugh into Hongjoong’s hair. ‘Noted, your majesty.’

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always much appreciated!! stream wonderland (or their newest cb coming in a few days HNNN) and have a great day!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/hopeshinings)  
> [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/softaehyungies/)


End file.
